Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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