i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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