am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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