dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
