Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
