So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
