Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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