It was confusing and full of hummus
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
