When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you traded sex for a burrito?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
