you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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