if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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