Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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