Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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