Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
