I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
