I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
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