It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Floor bacon is actually really good
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
