"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
