4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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