I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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