Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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