he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
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