i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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