I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
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Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
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Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats