Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips