Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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