Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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