Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
