That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize