you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I faked an abortion last night.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she pinky promised me she was 18
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
