We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
