Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Everything about him screamed your future.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."