that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.