Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?

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  (810): omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is? (1-810): i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen? http://tfl.nu/lnp6
  Replies (17) Good night (3277) Bad night (834)
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  (714): View more from California

  im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?

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  (714): im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join? http://tfl.nu/idc6
  Replies (16) Good night (4798) Bad night (1393)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair

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  (978): vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair http://tfl.nu/uyhj
  Replies (5) Good night (2773) Bad night (914)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl

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  (610): she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl http://tfl.nu/lpki
  Replies (63) Good night (928) Bad night (12439)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.

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  (317): Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/d60f
  Replies (15) Good night (3125) Bad night (839)
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  (516): View more from New York

  So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence

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  (516): So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence http://tfl.nu/140k
  Replies (6) Good night (1588) Bad night (1057)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.

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  (609): Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good. http://tfl.nu/lsij
  Replies (3) Good night (1325) Bad night (594)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?

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  (610): Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos? http://tfl.nu/shbv
  Replies (5) Good night (1165) Bad night (747)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  Hey I found a cat!

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  (270): Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do. (1-270): Hey I found a cat! http://tfl.nu/yvuv
  Replies (7) Good night (1851) Bad night (450)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys

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  (774): There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys http://tfl.nu/n2sm
  Replies (7) Good night (954) Bad night (399)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children

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  (804): Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children http://tfl.nu/bp23
  Replies (1) Good night (762) Bad night (374)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.

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  (515): We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it. http://tfl.nu/ayy3
  Replies (6) Good night (653) Bad night (346)
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  (714): View more from California

  Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?

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  (714): Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top? http://tfl.nu/jf8l
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (419)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet

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  (303): I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet http://tfl.nu/m8aq
  Replies (6) Good night (357) Bad night (490)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not

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  (727): He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not http://tfl.nu/1t8s
  Replies (2) Good night (256) Bad night (512)

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