The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.