After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize