I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
