i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
