my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
soo... how was my night?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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