I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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