and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
