Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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