I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
