Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
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It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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