you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
