"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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