He is such a slut. More and more my type.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I AM VODKA MAN
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
