No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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