Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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