his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
