so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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