he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You're earring is so big in my mouth
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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