I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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