dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize