This girl is more easily done than said...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
