Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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