i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
