I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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