if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
