It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
