Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
