Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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