I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Who did Billy Mays play for?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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